Learning to Remember Without Reliving
by Emeritus NDC Therapist, Dayne Otto
As a trauma therapist, I am a journey-mate with the wounded. Most of the girls arrive to therapy emotionally vacant, disconnected from their bodies and living in a constant state of fight or flight. Any healthy sense of self is largely obliterated.
To more fully understand the effect of trauma on our brain, we must understand a bit about how emotions are processed and communicated in that incredible three pound, three ounce organ nestled above our shoulders. Emotional responses are the result of brain signals communicating back and forth - signals that help us relax, detect threats and adapt to what is going on around us. A little almond shaped organ (the amygdala) acts as the gatekeeper of our emotional processing, and helps connect emotions to memory. Childhood trauma has a powerful effect on the developing brain and hijacks this process. Children exposed to violence, abuse, neglect, and other forms of instability are much more likely to develop stress and symptoms of PTSD. Hypervigilance becomes the normal state of being, as the brain’s ability to distinguish between safety, danger and reward has been interrupted.
How therapy can help!
Fortunately, our brilliant brains are incredibly malleable and constantly adjust to the world around us
A skilled trauma-informed therapist is mindful of the devastating impact trauma has on emotional regulation, behavior and the ability to have healthy relationships. One of the main long-term goals of trauma therapy is for the client to be able to remember events without reliving them.
As kids experience emotional safety, they venture to share their story with an empathic listener, consequently experiencing their body relax, tension lighten, and the mantle of constant self-protection put aside. Interventions such as EMDR, Somatic Experiencing and mindfulness exercises help the client reconnect with their body, stay in the present moment rather than constantly reliving the past and vigilantly preparing for an unsafe future. Consistent therapy also serves as a protective factor in limiting re-traumatization.
The process of change
My initial work is to build trust and create an atmosphere of acceptance and grace. A beautiful shift happens as they experience feeling seen, heard and valued as a person, not a commodity. Tenderness and empathy disarm them. Their body begins to relax, and they make consistent eye contact. It feels safe to unburden themselves of their deeply traumatic stories and the wrongly-placed shame that accompanies them. Slowly, emotions associated with horrific memories can be tolerated. They learn they are more than their experiences, and their trauma does not have to define them. It is a journey of newlife. Of hope. Of healing.
*Stock photos used to love and protect those we serve.