Unhealthy People Can’t Help Hurt People Heal
Brandyn Gipe
NDC Communications Director and former care staff at a NDC Partner Placement Home
Given the horrors sex trafficked kids have been through, it is easy for most people to understand why they receive trauma-informed therapy, however, sometimes people don’t understand the importance of ensuring that the staff who cares for them every day have access to therapy as well.
The children we serve have endured extreme levels of trauma, and although they are now in a safe place, their healing journey is just beginning. It takes the kids a while to realize they are actually safe ~ that they can trust the care staff. They won’t steal from them and don’t want anything in return. They only have good intentions towards them.
Once kids begin to trust, they let their guard down and begin, what I call, “the exhale.” They realize, “Oh, I am safe. I can be my true self. I’m not going to be punished or abandoned.” This is when we really see healing start to happen.
As the kids are processing all of this pain for the first time, it can be really intense as their trauma can manifest in many different ways: Self-harm, suicidal ideation, anger outbursts, destruction of property, etc. In these dark moments, it’s crucial to demonstrate grace, love, and patience towards the kids. As a result of continually walking alongside them through these painful experiences, direct care staff can suffer from what’s called, “Secondary Trauma.” You absolutely love these kids and want what is best for them, but as care staff, you can find yourself carrying their pain.
When a survivor starts opening up, they may share what happened to them and those details are extremely hard to hear. Therapy is vital so that care staff can process all of this. We hear a lot. We experience a lot. We see a lot. Of course, we get to see so many great things too! But the road to these great things is hard, and sometimes help is needed to navigate the hard stuff.
I’m so grateful to New Day and all of you for helping care staff stay healthy ~ thank you for making therapy available to us, because unhealthy people can't help hurt people heal. It's so important that the people who help these kids are the best versions of themselves and therapy is essential to that.